January in Pictures

Playing with PlayDoh in the kitchen.

Some fierce cowboys came by.

Connor went for a hike with all the proper gear.

Then he hid.

"Cool Shades" (quoting Connor)

"C'mon Cam! Let's hold hands!"

They turned on the faucet & made a mud puddle.

They, like true men, watched tv without pants on.

Mrs. Kelly "helped" Connor make a sailboat at the Austin Children's Museum.

Cameron painted rocks with water.

Cameron led us in story time.

Snacks without shirts are really funny.

Connor painted.

A Club I Never Wanted to Join

Unfortunately I've had several friends over the years lose babies. I've always felt sad for them, hurt for them and wished there was something I could do to make the pain go away. But the reality is you can't fix it. I know this now from first hand experience. As much as I wanted to comfort my hurting friends, I never wanted to trade places with them. I knew that their pain and grief were real and heavy. Well, God deemed me worthy of walking the painful road of miscarriage. I am now someone who knows the pain - both physical and emotional - of losing a baby. I wanted that baby. I wanted to hold him or her. I wanted to nurse that baby. I wanted to raise that child to know and love God. But in His infinite wisdom decided that it was better for that child to be with Him. I trust that His wisdom is better, greater, deeper, bigger and so on, than mine. I do believe that this experience is for my good & His glory. I'm not sure yet what exactly that means but I trust that God's plan is being worked out. Reading His word is like a balm to my soul though. It is truth and just letting it wash over me reminds me of so much.

He is in control, I don't have to be:

Ex 33:19 The LORD replied, “For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.”

1 Sam 2:6-7 The LORD gives both death and life; he brings some down to the grave^[a] but raises others up. The LORD makes some poor and others rich; he brings some down and lifts others up.

2 Chron. 20:6 O LORD, God of our ancestors, you alone are the God who is in heaven. You are ruler of all the kingdoms of the earth. You are powerful and mighty; no one can stand against you!

Job 42:2 I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you.

Ps 115:3 Our God is in the heavens, and he does as he pleases.

Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Satan's lies are powerful but I can trust the Lord:

Gen 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.

He loves me and He loves this baby:

Ps 57:2 I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.

Ps 139:16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Ps 145:9 The LORD is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all his creation.

Phil 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Isa 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Matt 11:28-30 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

I will choose to praise Him and I will find joy even in sorrow:

Job 1:21 The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. I will praise the name of the LORD!

Job 8:21 He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

Ps 145:21 I will praise the LORD, and may everyone on earth bless his holy name forever and ever.

I may write later about the events of the miscarriage but right now this is all my heart can handle. That is certainly one thing I am learning, grief ebbs and flows. We are not capable of processing it all at once. So one day I feel oppressed and burdened with sadness and the next I feel uplifted and at peace. Through it all, I will continue to call out to God. I will praise Him because He is worthy. He is merciful, gracious, generous, loving, and so on and on I could go. Most of all today, He is Comforter.

For Madeline

Our Christmas photo shoot & pregnancy announcement:

Thanks Laura for such a fun photo shoot and such beautiful pictures!

Sweet Friends

We all know the joy of having a great friend. It really is a precious gift. Well, Connor got to experience his first great friend in Colin. They really were two peas in a pod. Colin has an older brother, Ryan, who Connor idolized. These boys have a baby brother, Blaine, and two great parents, Tim and Laura. We love this family very much as just a few weeks ago had to say goodbye as they packed up and moved to Germany. It's almost like the Army didn't care that we really enjoyed each other! Connor has a precious tender heart but he also has an aggressive streak which can mean that making friends isn't super easy. He is working on it and I really can see growth but for whatever reason, he and Colin hit it off right away and have never once had issues. They played side by side, but independently for a long time and as they grew they learned how to play together. It has been a really great last 2 years knowing that Connor has a friend in his class at church that will play with him and looks forward to his arrival. As a parent it has been great to allow my kids to play at a friends house knowing that their values, standards, expectations, etc. are very closely related to ours. It is comforting to know that my child will be corrected appropriately when he makes a poor choice or that he will be praised when he does well.

We have been upfront with Connor about their move and initially he would burst into tears and sob "I not want Cowin & Ryan to move to Germ-nee!" In more recent days he occasionally, with a quivering voice, will say, "I miss Cowin & Ryan. I not want dem to move to Germ-nee." And at night he rarely misses an opportunity to tell God thank you for his friends "Cowin & Ryan." I love this sweet family and am tearfully writing to say that we already miss them dearly. Please pray for Connor as he adjusts to life without his friends Colin and Ryan. Pray for me as I adjust to life without Laura (one of my closest friends I've made since moving to Cove 3 1/2 years ago.) And finally, pray for money to fall from the sky so we can go visit them in Germany!

Connor & Colin "camping"

Ryan's lego creation

All our sweet kids (Milly & Andi joined us) lined up at our last dinner.