Corban's Birth Story

Corban Dean Moore

January 29, 2013

9lb 7oz, 19.75in

I am so grateful God has blessed me with the opportunity to mother three boys. From conception I have known this birth would be different. After having planned 2 births that went awry and then a miscarriage I decided it must be God’s plan for my babies to be born in hospitals. For this reason, for the first time, I sought out a doctor instead of a midwife. When I was only about 7 weeks pregnant I began having cramps and feared losing this baby too. I had not yet found a doctor but called and made an appointment with the first doctor that could see me. I wasn’t sure that this would be my OB but I prayed that he would be compassionate toward my fears of losing another baby. God answered my prayers as only He could. Dr. Allerkamp was extremely compassionate and comforting. Within 24 hours we saw our baby and his precious beating heart on an ultrasound and were assured that Baby was developing perfectly. I was due February 5, 2013!

As the end of my pregnancy neared I began having lots of contractions. I had prayed hard that Corban would come early so that he would not get too big and scare the doctors. After my birth experience with Cameron I wanted to avoid any battles with doctors that I could. Dr. Allerkamp had thus far been open to and even encouraging of a natural birth but he was still a doctor so I was nervous. So when contractions became more regular and stronger I took notice. In the last few weeks of pregnancy, on three different occasions I timed contractions that were 5-7 minutes apart and seemingly “the real thing.” However each time they died out and the day went on. The last time that happened was Sunday afternoon on January 27. We went on to the church’s annual chili cook off where I tried to find some good spicy chili. The next morning I saw my chiropractor for my weekly visit. She did acupressure on me trying to bring the onset of labor. I went on home and went about my regular day. That night I woke up around 1:30 with contractions that felt somehow different than the other episodes. I tried sleeping but I was too excited. I woke Matt up around 2 with my tossing and turning. By 2:30 I sent my parents a text letting them know I was fairly certain this was labor. They left San Antonio by 3AM. Around 3:15 I sent Kelly Brock a text asking her to come over and stay with the boys while we went to the hospital.

Once we arrived I was put into a triage room where they checked to see my progress and our vitals. Corban and I were both doing great. Good blood pressure, good heart rate, etc. However I was only dilated to a 4. The nurse offered for me to walk the halls of the hospital to progress labor. Matt and I walked for about an hour, stopping to breathe through contractions when necessary. The discouraging part was that I was not progressing much. The need to stop and breathe through the contractions was becoming less frequent. My parents arrived from San Antonio and I began to stress about labor stopping. We went back to our triage room to be monitored again. We were still in good health but no progress had been made at all. The nurse offered that we could go home and return when things picked up but that without the use of drugs (which I did NOT want again) there was no need for me to stay in the hospital. So around 6:30 we left for home.

I was incredibly sad and anxious. I called grandparents in from San Antonio and a friend in the middle of the night. I wanted it to be for something!

Connor and Cameron had just woken up when we got home and didn't even seem to notice that we were coming home or that Kelly was there. We tried to take turns resting throughout the morning while entertaining the boys. My contractions never really stopped completely but they were 20 or even 30 minutes apart at times and not as intense as they were in the morning. I used all sorts of home remedies for getting labor going. Last of all was drinking Castor Oil. I tried it around noon I think. Around 1:30 I began having contractions again that were about 10 minutes apart. That lasted until somewhere between 3 and 4 o’clock. I wasn't completely paying attention. I was actually trying to even distract myself so that I wouldn't go crazy timing contractions. I even went to the hardware store with Matt to get some things for the bunk beds he was building. Sometime during that hour though the contractions became more intense and more like every 5 minutes. By 4:15 I was having very regular contractions that required my full focus and were 2-3 minutes apart. My mom was quite concerned that this baby would come very quickly when we decided he was ready and that we needed to be heading out the door. At 4:40 I sent a couple of texts telling people we were headed to the hospital, again. This time I was torn between these intense contractions and my fear that it would all come to a stop again.

We arrived at Metroplex Labor & Delivery again just before 5 pm  My parents took Connor & Cam to the Brock’s house and then came to be with us. This time they did not send me to triage but straight to a delivery room. I was having contractions about every 2 minutes and had to receive an IV with antibiotics to protect the baby from the slim chance he could catch the Group B Strep I was carrying. I had carefully typed up my birth plan, had Dr. Allerkamp sign off on it and put it in my file. It was fairly simple, just let me do things without intervention and as I feel led to do in the moment. An IV was not on my wish list because it limited my movement but it was necessary to protect my baby. I had taken a big stability/exercise ball with me which I thought I might sit on but instead I used it to put my arms and head on as I knelt on the bed. I was checked for progress as they monitored out vitals again. I was between a 7 and 8! I felt so much relief come over me to know that I was really going to have this baby tonight and not in another week or two. I had nurses in and out all during the time I labored asking me different questions and getting the room ready for birth. Around 6:30 the contractions were lasting at least a minute in length, some as long as 90 seconds and were very intense. The nurse called for Dr. Allerkamp who came in and checked me. I was the same, still around 8 cm  He was content to let me continue as is but I asked about breaking my water. I was hoping it would send me into the final stage and let me hold my baby. He agreed it was a good option. It took a few minutes to maneuver between contractions but around 6:40 he broke my water. I rolled back onto my hands and knees to continue laboring when out of nowhere the incredible urge to push was on me. My dad left the room, mom went to get the doctor who had just stepped out and I began to panic. I kept saying to Matt, “I can’t do this!” To which he replied, “you are doing this.” There was no going back. I pushed straight through 3 contractions and delivered Corban Dean Moore at 6:59 pm January 29. I was so panicked and exhausted and ready to be done that I pushed even when I wasn't contracting which caused some damage that I hadn't experienced before. Being on my hands and knees caused my body to use gravity and Corban came very quickly. Ten minutes from the time my water broke to the moment Dr. Allerkamp said, “Happy Birthday!” to be exact. It was the most intense 10 minutes I can remember!

 I heard a nurse say during delivery that he wasn't in the best position for birth, meaning he was slightly turned which can cause a more painful delivery. I think this is why I instinctively wanted to be on hands and knees. It was just what felt right. It allowed for the most space without my body being pressed into a bed, restricting the full space for him to deliver. I had considered lots of positions for delivery but because it all happened so fast that changing positions wasn't even an option in my mind. As a result of laboring and then delivering on my hands & knees my legs were incredibly tired and shaky over the next several hours.

My dad stood in the hall listening to the whole thing and then left shortly thereafter to go get the big brothers. Mom stayed with me and Matt in L&D while I recovered. Dad returned with the big boys and we all got to hug and hold and kiss on Corban for a while. It was so precious seeing my three boys together. Three brothers! What a treasured blessing for me and for them. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for my family.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Music

My parents were here visiting last weekend and in a conversation I made a comment that has played over and over in my mind since. I simply said, "I think some people are music people and some people are not." There's not a lot of depth to it or any hidden meanings. I simply think that some people are more drawn to music than others. I have always loved music and a variety of it. However, since marrying Matt 7 and a half years ago, my enjoyment of music has been pushed into a side-hobby. He enjoys music to a much deeper level than I. He has a passion for finding new artists that have great talent and make great music. I get to sit back and enjoy his research. It's really a great set up for me. Anyhow, I wanted to share a few songs that are on my frequently played list lately.

First up is Sydney by Brett Dennen. This song makes me get up and move - Every. Time. I use it when I'm on the treadmill and it buys me another 3.5 minutes. It just has such fun energy and I know I look like a total goofball while running and mouthing words and punching my fists in front of me but hey, it's another 3.5 minutes of elevated heart rate and sweat. Great song!
Sydney


Next is In Christ Alone. This is a worship song that I learned while attending First Euless. If I choose to be engaged in worshiping (not just singing while allowing my mind to wander) this song brings me to tears every time. There is so much truth within that grips my soul and causes me to praise my Lord and my God. "No guilt in life; no fear in death; this is the power of Christ in me." Yes! I no longer am counted guilty! I am free to worship without shame or guilt. I am counted as a daughter of the Most High King! Ah! I could go on and on but that's a sermon for another day. Great song.
In Christ Alone



Finally is Precious Love by James Morrison. I cannot help but get on my feet and dance with my darling sons when this song plays. They are a most precious blessing in my life and I am forever grateful for my time with them. Not to mention the fantastic beat and vintage feel to it - a great song.
Precious Love

A Club I Never Wanted to Join

Unfortunately I've had several friends over the years lose babies. I've always felt sad for them, hurt for them and wished there was something I could do to make the pain go away. But the reality is you can't fix it. I know this now from first hand experience. As much as I wanted to comfort my hurting friends, I never wanted to trade places with them. I knew that their pain and grief were real and heavy. Well, God deemed me worthy of walking the painful road of miscarriage. I am now someone who knows the pain - both physical and emotional - of losing a baby. I wanted that baby. I wanted to hold him or her. I wanted to nurse that baby. I wanted to raise that child to know and love God. But in His infinite wisdom decided that it was better for that child to be with Him. I trust that His wisdom is better, greater, deeper, bigger and so on, than mine. I do believe that this experience is for my good & His glory. I'm not sure yet what exactly that means but I trust that God's plan is being worked out. Reading His word is like a balm to my soul though. It is truth and just letting it wash over me reminds me of so much.

He is in control, I don't have to be:

Ex 33:19 The LORD replied, “For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.”

1 Sam 2:6-7 The LORD gives both death and life; he brings some down to the grave^[a] but raises others up. The LORD makes some poor and others rich; he brings some down and lifts others up.

2 Chron. 20:6 O LORD, God of our ancestors, you alone are the God who is in heaven. You are ruler of all the kingdoms of the earth. You are powerful and mighty; no one can stand against you!

Job 42:2 I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you.

Ps 115:3 Our God is in the heavens, and he does as he pleases.

Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Satan's lies are powerful but I can trust the Lord:

Gen 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.

He loves me and He loves this baby:

Ps 57:2 I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.

Ps 139:16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Ps 145:9 The LORD is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all his creation.

Phil 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Isa 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Matt 11:28-30 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

I will choose to praise Him and I will find joy even in sorrow:

Job 1:21 The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. I will praise the name of the LORD!

Job 8:21 He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

Ps 145:21 I will praise the LORD, and may everyone on earth bless his holy name forever and ever.

I may write later about the events of the miscarriage but right now this is all my heart can handle. That is certainly one thing I am learning, grief ebbs and flows. We are not capable of processing it all at once. So one day I feel oppressed and burdened with sadness and the next I feel uplifted and at peace. Through it all, I will continue to call out to God. I will praise Him because He is worthy. He is merciful, gracious, generous, loving, and so on and on I could go. Most of all today, He is Comforter.

Connor's Prayer

In the most timid voice with hands folded in his lap:

Dih God

tank-ooh food.

Caweb feew better.

Tummy not sick.

Wuv you.

Geezis (Jesus) name, Amen.

My prayer,

Thank you Lord for this precious moment in my darling child's life. I am so grateful to have a compassionate, loving son. Thank you for prompting his heart to pray for his friend. Thank you for calling him even now. Please direct me as I do my best to mother him well. Show me when I fail and how to do better. Give me grace for the mistakes I make. All praise and glory to the God of the universe and of little children!

Jesus Changes My Heart

While reading the Bible with Connor tonight Matt recapped what they read last night. It was the story of Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. Last night they talked about how God changed Saul/Paul's heart and that God has changed Mommy & Daddy's hearts. Matt also told Connor that he hoped one day God would change Connor's heart too. Connor also recently learned where his physical heart is in his body. So as they recapped tonight their conversation went something like this:

Connor: Changed? (pointing at Paul)

Matt: Yeah, Did God change his heart?

Connor: Me? (pointing to his own heart)

Matt: Will God change your heart?

Connor: Yeeeah

Matt: Yes, Connor, one day God will change your heart.

Connor: Jesus? Heart?

Matt: (beaming from ear to ear) Yes, Jesus will come live in your heart one day when you ask him to.

Connor: Yeeeah. Chanch (change) me!

My precious child is learning the foundational truths of the universe. God, through His son, Jesus Christ, will change his heart when he surrenders that heart to Him. I stood at the kitchen sink with tear filled eyes praising my Father for the blessing occurring in my living room.

Ultimate

As I've grown in my relationship with Christ, I have certainly come to realize that it's not about me. Life that is. God didn't design life to revolve around us. We're small, finite, selfish and so much more. Yes, we are His creations and because of that we are miraculous and wonderfully made, but not made to be ultimate.
As a mom, I am reminded of this fact all day. Take sleep for example. It is extremely unpredictable for me - when I'll get it, how long it will last, how frequently it will be interrupted, etc. is a huge clue to me that I am NOT the center of the universe. One of our favorite movies is About A Boy and at one point in the movie the main character, Will, (played by Hugh Grant) narrates that his life is "The Will Show," and that he is the main character. Other characters come and go but the show is about him, he goes on. He is the focus. I think our culture socializes us to buy into that wholeheartedly. We are supposed to do what feels right for us, what is best for us, what will bring us the most good.
The more I study scripture I am confronted with the fact that this is completely contrary to God's will for us. His "good, pleasing and perfect will." (Rom 12:2) The pitfall that I am so quickly drawn to after seeing myself as ultimate, is to make my children ultimate. They are from my flesh. They are pieces of my heart walking around outside my body. I love them with a love that only God can create. How can there be anything wrong with making them ultimate in my life? If my focus is not myself but others, then how could I go wrong? It all goes sour when I put anyone - even my baby blessings - as ultimate in my life over the Creator God.
I am designed to serve and worship Him alone. When I serve my children, husband, church, friends, fashion, bank account, (fill in your blank) over my God, I will fall. I will hurt and it will not be a test from Him but succumbing to a temptation. My DNA knows that I can only find the satisfaction I crave when I seek it from the Lord Most High.
When I place my children as ultimate I fail them because they are not seeing their mother lead them spiritually like they deserve. They are seeing me put pressure on them to satisfy my need for approval. When I crave their approval, I put pressure on them that they cannot withstand. They will fail me. They will disappoint. I will fail them! How can they give me approval when I make mistakes and don't even deserve it!? What's worse is when I strive to be the best mom, so that I will have the approval of others. I can be making all the "right" choices in parenting but one day I will stand before the Almighty and He will judge my heart behind why I made those decisions. He knows my heart. He knows when I am caught up in "The Sarah Show."
Oh Lord, cause my heart to desire your intimacy and approval more than any other. Cause me to delight in you more than even my blessed children. Make me the kind of mother they need and not the kind others want to see.


And you thought this would be about frisbee! Ha ha!

Honey

Matt's grandmother "Honey," Ruth Decker passed away Sunday the 22nd of August. Honey was a key figure in Matt's growing up years and played a significant part in his becoming a Christian. She was a kind, loving and very generous woman. She welcomed me right into her family and always took an interest in others. I am so grateful to have known her and will miss her dearly. We went to Wimberley last weekend for the funeral and in the midst of mourning, we enjoyed family and a beautiful part of Texas.

Rebekka, Natalie & Connor (Matt's cousin Brent's girls) at the memorial.

Brownie thief! (This was the 3rd one!)

Lunch at Ino'z on Cypress Creek. Yummm!

This boy has a BEAUTIFUL smile that I could stare at all day.

Connor was none to thrilled about leaving the toy store.

Aunt Sherilyn was getting some cuddle time!

Nursery Make-Overs!

This post is months over due but here it is.
Connor's room used to have a glider rocking chair and changing table in it.

Before:
This was taken before the new toy storage but after he pulled up on the side table I had next to the rocker. He pulled it down onto himself, broke 2 legs off the table and the lamp that was sitting on top. It was pretty traumatic for both of us.

Now, we added some cube shelving to house toys and books.
After:




I still have bigger visions for Cameron's room but for now, this is where we're at. His name is on the wall hanging from painted stick vines and green ribbon.





Why elephants?
We decided to go with an elephant theme based on what we've learned about the importance of a father figure in a male elephant's life. In Donald Miller's book To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing up Without a Father, he talks about how male elephants take very seriously the role of "mentoring" young males in the herd. And more importantly how aggressive and rebellious the young males become (even fighting each other to the point of death) without that older male to guide and teach them. The older males teach the young to be care takers, providers, protectors, etc. of the herd. This really resonated with Matt and his desire to father his children well. Having two boys first has deepened the desire to raise Godly, responsible, wise men who will in turn father well. So...elephants are on Cameron's walls & shelves!

From the Mind of Sarah

At the risk of boring my usual readers who are looking for pictures of Connor, I have some food for thought that I've been chewing on lately. I will try to post soon about Connor & Cameron. (Cameron James is the name we've decided on by the way.)

According to Mark 8:34-38 "Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."

In order to be a "follower of Christ" we must deny ourselves. The idea of "give up your life" is more complicated than it appears at first glance. The statement includes a lot more than being willing to die for your faith in Christ but being willing to suffer for it as well. I have to ask myself, am I seeking to "save" my life, i.e. preserve my comforts, expectations, security, conveniences, etc. at the cost of being fully surrendered to the call of following Christ completely?

I've been listening to a lot of Matt Chandler sermons lately. Just bored with music, I guess. Anyhow, in a recent sermon he mentions the idea of "Nominal Christianity." He labels those who attend church, try to do right, are moral people but are unwilling to completely invite Christ into their entire lives as "nominal believers." People who's lives really do not have anything to do with Christ. They don't study scripture or seek God's wisdom in making decisions, dealing with convictions or have any intention of submitting to the Lordship of Christ. A "Nominal Believer" may not actually have any real relationship at all with Christ.

Conversely, there are the verses above and many others that talk about what it takes to follow Christ. Phrases like "deny himself," and "lose his life," stick out to me. Scriptures, just like this one (and there are many others) are very clear about the cost we must pay to be followers of Christ. There is example after example in scripture and in history of men and women who have given their lives in their pursuit of following Christ. It is a sugar-coated fallacy to believe that following Christ will make your life easier and happier.

I think many of us would like to believe that we fall somewhere in between. We want to be fully surrendered. We want to follow Christ wherever He calls us, give up whatever He asks, but in reality we fall short. We hang onto some things and try to pretend He isn't asking more of us.

So as I have been wrestling with the idea of being a fully devoted Christ follower versus being a nominal believer, the following question comes to mind. Is this a continuum on which we can fall any number of places? or is it a black & white issue: you're either fully devoted or not? I want very much to cling to the idea of it being a continuum because while I am saved, redeemed and forgiven, I am still living in a world that isn't and in a carnal body. My spirit and my body are at war within me (Rom. 7) and the spirit does not always win. I give in to bitterness, entitlement, gossip, jealousy, etc. BUT I love Jesus. I want others to love him. I moved to a city where I am not comfortable because I believed that is what He wanted from me. Does that not make me somewhere on the "fully devoted" side of things? However, the word "fully" eliminates the possibility of anything less than 100%. In the above verses, Christ says that if we are looking to "save" our lives or preserve our comfort, look out for #1, etc. then we will not know Him. We are not following Him.

I don't have an answer or a conclusion. I just feel burdened to further explore what it means to be a fully devoted follower of Christ. I want to be one. I believe that's why I'm here. I also know I am deeply flawed. I am selfish and struggle constantly with feeling entitled to different things that I am NOT owed.

Neighborhood Husband

I dubbed Matt the neighborhood husband today. He is so great and I am so proud to be married to him. Since so many of our friends have husbands in Iraq, Matt has more than once volunteered or been asked to hang a heavy shelf, put up a permanent baby gate, tear out a flower bed and today, hang Christmas lights. Every time, he is happy to do what has been asked of him. He really enjoys getting to serve these women in areas that they have needs. I know he would rather be at home with his family but he gets it. He sees the bigger picture and that drives him. He knows that in digging out grass to plant flowers & mulch or whatever the task may be, gives him more 'relationship collateral' (his term, not mine). What I mean is that by serving them he gets to spend time outside of Sunday morning with them in a way which is completely appropriate and allows them to build trust with him. It actually even builds trust and respect from their husbands who are thousands of miles away. So when a situation arises where he wants to speak truth to one of them, he has the collateral to do so. He has laid a foundation that will allow him to be used by the Holy Spirit in their lives. His only agenda is to be used by God in the lives of the people He places around us. Many of those people are situationally single women and there are not a lot of opportunities for a married man to appropriately build relationships like those. For that reason, I am so glad that I get to live with the Neighborhood Husband. I am willing to share him for a few hours here and there, but he's mine!

What Do You Want for Christmas?

It's that time of year. The temperature is dropping and the decorations are coming out. We're trying to not to get too caught up in the madness of the season, and yet if we're honest, part of us loves the frantic pace, the super sales, and the excitement of it all. We try hard to not let those things overshadow the joys of the Christmas season - time spent with family, the opportunity to reflect on our blessings, etc. The problem is that even if the madness doesn't overshadow the joys it certainly competes with them. We become distracted and preoccupied.

Every year there are those who speak out against the commercialization of Christmas. They demonize the American marketing machine. The implied argument is that Christmas has lost it's significance because money-hungry retailers prey on helpless consumers. But that couldn't be further from the truth. The real problem with Christmas is not that it's been commercialized, the real problem is us.

Let me explain. The most basic rule of economics tells us that retailers are only supplying the demand that our self-gratifying hearts have created. We have taken a holiday that was designed to celebrate the birth of our Savior and used it spoil ourselves. Our self-indulgence has become the enemy of Christmas.

This is no more evident than in my own life. Each year I spend hours thinking about what I want, what I might get, "is too much to ask for?", or "does that come with a gift receipt?". When I take the time to examine my own heart and consider what Christmas means to me I see a selfish man with greedy motives. My conviction leads to thoughts like: What about getting presents helps me to love God more? As we celebrate the birth of our Savior, what have I done to deserve a gift?

C.S. Lewis once said,
"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

For Christmas this year I want more of God. My prayer is that God would give me more of Himself and that I would learn to be satisfied in Him alone.

~Matt

I came across this article today & found it to be very interesting and very accurate. I also found it to be pertinent considering my post yesterday. Click on the title to read the article.

The Case for Early Marriage

"Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot."

Back from a Long Hiatus

It's been a long time since I posted anything to this blog. Sarah often reminds me that I was the one that created this thing. When I originally created it I wanted it to be a venue for us to conveniently keep our family and friends up to date with the things going on in our lives. I knew that Connor would dominate the content, and I was ok with that, but I had aspirations of making periodic appearances to share insights or musings of my own. Well, that hasn't really happened, but today I felt inspired to share. So if you're here to find out more about our boy then I'm sorry to disappoint. Feel free to close the window, and wait for Sarah's next update.
Because it's been so long since I've made my voice heard in the blogosphere I knew that whatever I wanted to say needed to be substantial. Nothing seems more appropriate than for me to share about the things that God has been doing in my life recently. We just finished a big event here at the church. This is a project that I've been consciously working on for the last 2 months, but I get the sense that God has been preparing me for this time for a while. Do you ever feel that way? "God's been up to something for a while now and I'm just now catching on." Anyway, over the last few months God has been opening my eyes to some things that I've misunderstood about being a Christian. The influence of our culture, combined with my tendency to be too easily satisfied, has dramatically distorted my understanding of what it means to follow Christ. Over the past year or so I have really become fascinated with a verse in 1 Corinthians where Paul says, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." (1 Cor. 11:1). The more that God leads me to wrestle with this verse the more convicted I become. This is a scripture that reflects my heart but not my actions.
So today I read an article that added more fuel to the fire that God has been stirring in my heart. I thought that I'd share it with you. So here it is. I hope you check it out, let me know what you think.

A Life of Service

While we have been in Copperas Cove for 8 months now, the reality of living in a military community reached a new level for us this week. We have seen soldiers come and go from their deployments (which are mostly 12-15 months)and seen the families deal with transitions to some degree. It became considerably more intimate this week for the Moore family, however. To back up, let me explain that since we have been here on of the first couples that we connected with were John & Kelly Brock. John is a Captain in the army and they live across the street from us. I first met Kelly at church but we quickly discovered that we lived very close to one another. She was pregnant and due (with her 2nd child) about 6 weeks before I was. We discovered not too much later that John does not have a relationship with Christ and we began praying immediately that we would be instrumental in the work God was already doing in his life. Thankfully Kelly has a solid walk with the Lord and works diligently to show her husband how rewarding it is to know Him.
Anyhow, over the last 8 months we have spent a good deal of time with the Brocks and Matt has even gone as far as to say that John may very well be why the Lord has us in Cove. He is certainly why we are in the house we're in. John is an honorable man who loves his family and loves his job. He talks all the time about the army and you can't help but recognize his dedication to what he does.
This week it was John's turn to deploy. Matt and I were blessed to be at the departure of his unit. John is a Commander over a unit of about 100 soldiers. We ran late, of course, and arrived just before they loaded the buses. As we were pulling in my eyes began to burn with tears as I took in the scene. Among the sea of camouflage uniforms were families with red eyes and wet cheeks. There were young couples, families with new babies and others with teenagers. I even noticed a few family dogs waiting their turn for one last belly rub. It was like a scene from a movie. John's unit gathered into formation and he spoke to them about what it means to go to war. He inspired them and gave them a bigger picture mindset about what it means to protect your country.
If you're anything like me, this war our country's in has not really affected your life. Sure we hear about it on the news and I even drive by an army base every day but that is the extent of it. My life has not been inconvenienced in any capacity. That all changed Saturday. My friend John left for Iraq to fight for my safety. That's service. In the gospel of John (ironically) Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." While John Brock may not know Jesus the way I do, Jesus knows him and my prayer is that one day John will see that just as he is willing to lay down his life to save others, Jesus did just that for him. Please join us in praying for John's salvation.

Here are some pictures of the Brock's.
Johnny B wanted his daddy at his birthday party, so we celebrated at Chuck E. Cheese a month early.

It was Connor's first birthday party to attend.

This is Kelly & Baby Reagan. (Connor's girl.)

John, Kelly & Reagan at John's going away party.

The soldiers waiting to hear from Captain Brock.

A shot of John talking to his unit.

Making their way to the buses.

Microwaved Inspiration

It has been a while since I (Matt) made any posts to this blog. I appreciate Sarah's faithfulness in keeping it up to date.
Many wonderful things have happened in our lives recently. I will write more about those at a later time. For this post I will simply focus on a new habit I have developed. Most of you who know me very well know that I love to be inspired by great ideas and to wrestle with unanswerable questions, but I don't have much patience or endurance for reading. I have never been much of a reader and most of the books on my shelf have bookmarks in the second or third chapters. The stack of books that I would like to read is only growing larger and the amount of time I have to read them seems to be shrinking by the day. So I have developed a new habit that seems to have helped me in my pursuit of inspiration. I have begun reading more blogs. I discovered that most of my favorite authors maintain blogs. Most blog posts are reasonably short and get to their point quickly. This is a winning combination for me the guy who is looking for inspiration and ideas but isn't able to dedicate the energy required to finish books. In the future I may occasionally post comments or reviews of other blogs that I found to be particularly interesting. So if you're just subscribing to find out the latest on Connor and Sarah feel free to ignore my posts, you won't hurt my feelings.
Note: This does not mean that I have given up on reading books, I still desire to make it to the bottom of that "To Be Read" stack.

The Visit

This past weekend Sarah and I went to Cove to visit with a search committee from FBC Friday was packed with tours and introductions. While we were down there some of our fears were put to rest, but not all of them. But ultimatley we realize that there will be some fear wherever we go. So this morning the pastor called and said that the search team voted unanimously to invite us to come in view of a call, and we accepted. As with any step of faith, we are both excited and scared. We are very sad that God has led us away from our friends here, but we know that awesome things await us as we follow Him to CC.