Connor Thomas Moore November 6, 2008 8lbs 11 oz 21”
Beginning about 2 1/2 weeks before he was born my blood pressure began to rise and my kidneys began leaking protein. Both of these things can be fairly serious for mom & baby so my midwife, Christy Martin, added supplements to my routine and tweaked my diet and activity schedule. As I saw her for my following appointment we discovered that my symptoms had improved but that I was still in the 'danger zone' and in order to deliver outside the hospital, as Matt & I strongly desired to do, you must be in the 'normal' category. Christy had a consulting physician that she worked with and scheduled an appointment for me Tuesday, the 4th. This was just a consultation so that I could meet him & hear his opinions. During the appointment we discussed the likely possibility that I would end up delivering in the hospital. My blood pressure was very high and he was concerned about my liver being affected, so he had me admitted to the hospital for testing that evening. Christy sat with Matt & me as we watched the machines monitor my blood pressure, contractions and Connor's heart rate for a few hours. We prayed and prayed that the Lord would bring me back to a normal level and I would be able to deliver at the birth center as planned. Because everything was normal we were sent home that night (a nearly 3 hour car ride!) unsure of where our baby would be born.
I really struggled with this reality because I so strongly desired to deliver my baby in the most natural, peaceful environment possible and could not understand why the Lord would not honor that desire. I researched & asked every question I could about why or how this could be happening since I had been so careful with my diet and prenatal care? Everything I was told and read was that I had no control over the situation and there is no way to prevent this. I truly had to let go of my expectations and trust that the Lord was still on His throne. He would work the situation for His glory - and He did!
So, being on required rest I was laying in bed Thursday watching TV around noon, when I felt the urge to go to the restroom. As I moved to get up I felt a gush of fluid and thought "Did I just wet myself? No, I think my water broke!" I stood up and was then certain that my water had broken as fluid ran down my legs. I grabbed my phone and called Matt ecstatic with the promise of going into labor on my own. (After seeing the doctor, being induced became a concern that we had not yet faced and strongly wanted to avoid.) He was about to leave for lunch anyhow, and just packed up and came home right away. I then called Christy and told her what had happened. I explained that I wasn't having contractions yet but my water had broken and I was beginning labor. I was fully aware that many women who's water breaks as the first sign of labor do not begin contracting for days, and that we may not have our baby right away, but Matt & I had prayed diligently that we would have a clear sign that labor had begun and that we would have plenty of time to make the drive back to DFW for the delivery. Christy told me to take our time leaving and that I should lay and rest while Matt finished packing and loading the car. I showered, dressed and rested over the next hour and half while Matt got everything taken care of at the house. About 1:30 we got in the car and still wanting to keep my blood pressure down, I decided to lie in the back seat. We were on our way! Not long after being in the car I began to have some contractions, but they were very mild and somewhat hard to time. I would describe them as more like menstrual cramps or gas pains than anything. They progressed as we drove north but were very manageable until we were about 20 minutes or so away. We'd been in contact with Christy as we drove and she said we should meet her at the birth center at least initially. I began getting more and more restless and uncomfortable, really wanting to get out of the car. Matt was very reassuring and did a great job driving smoothly.
When we arrived at the birth center around 4:20 I labored there for a while using the birth ball and begging to get into the tub. Christy had me wait because she wanted to monitor my blood pressure before I got into the tub. I paced and moved around as I wanted, which is just how we planned the labor to go. She took my blood pressure twice and did a pelvic exam. Both bp reads were too high and I was dilated to nearly a 6 with the baby's head already very low... so at about 5:45 we got back in the car and made the 20 minute drive to Baylor Grapevine hospital. I really don't recall much about that car ride except that my contractions were extremely intense and the last 3 or 4 contractions were so strong that they began pushing the baby themselves. I remember telling Matt, "I can't not push!" I sort of remember feeling panicked that we wouldn't make it in time. Matt pulled into the drop off area and said, "I'll drop you off." But as he came around and opened my door I crawled out only to have my knees hit the ground. I laid my head on the seat and tried to relax as another contraction pushed Connor further down. Two women were coming outside and one ran to get a wheel chair as the other pushed for the elevator. Matt had to leave the car parked there and wasn't able to go back down to move it for nearly 4 hours so he just prayed that they didn't tow it! Christy was just behind us and had called ahead to let the hospital know that we were on our way and called the doctor so that he could meet us there.
Matt wheeled me around the desk and without stopping got the room number. As we got to room 4 there was a nurse there to help me undress. I remember her pulling my jeans down as I gripped the handicap bar in the shower. My contractions were almost constant by this point; I had maybe 30 seconds between them. In my original plans I intended to deliver either kneeling over a chair or a ball or possibly on all fours, but never on my back. There is too much logic against it, however the nurse had me on my back to take my blood pressure and strap the monitors around my belly. She said I could get up when she was done, but as she checked me she said I was fully dilated and the baby was at +2. So, in the 20 minutes from the birth center to the hospital I went from a 6 to a 10 and could no longer refrain from pushing. I never moved from the diagonal position I was in on the bed. The nurse looked at Christy and said something to the effect of, "Dr. Clark may not make it. Can you deliver this baby?" Christy was like," Yah, of course." There was a lot going on around me and I was very unaware of who was in the room but one nurse kept having me sign form after form between contractions & maintaining my sense of humor I said, "It's not your fault but I hate you." She was very nice, whatever her name was. Matt and Christy were very encouraging and kept reminding me to relax my bottom and let the contractions do the work - don't push with them. Breathe. Etc. I wasn't aware at the time but my blood pressure never got over the normal/healthy range. The monitors began tracking me at 6:15 and sometime in there Dr. Clark did arrive. I had planned and typed up my birth plan just in case we would be at the hospital which included things like: I want my own soothing music playing, dim lights, minimal talking, minimal exams, no IV's, no drugs, etc. This was left in the car in the drop of zone. Matt did his best to recall what we'd gone over and with Christy's help he was able to recall most everything.
I don't recall Dr. Clark's arrival, but he just appeared in the room at some point and it was really time for me to push with the contractions. Connor was crowning and I remember Christy saying, "I was wrong! He has lots of hair!" Over the next while I experienced a good amount of pain - for the first time. While I had certainly been uncomfortable and the contractions were intense, I would not call them painful. Delivering the head was very painful & the term "ring of fire" became very real to me. One thing that would have made the experience slightly more bearable would have been a warm compress, which I had requested in my birth plan - oh well! As I pushed and pushed for what felt like forever, Matt & Christy were so encouraging telling me each time that they could see more of his head and how close I was getting to being done. I remember feeling like there were times I would push and nothing would happen-like I was being unproductive. Then there were other pushes where I could feel major progress and him moving further and further down. It was discouraging when I would feel such progress though and ask, “Is it out?” only to be told, “No, but you’re so close.” Once his head was delivered Christy & Dr. Clark had me stop pushing and again just let the contractions push him out. Connor’s heart rate stayed strong throughout delivery and I firmly believe that is because of the absence of drugs and the time allowed between contractions for me to rest and breathe. The delivery of the rest of his body was actually a pleasure, if you can believe it! I remember Matt saying, “There’s a shoulder!” and the excitement in his voice being very real to me. Christy told me to look down at my baby and I watched as his little human body was expelled from mine. At one point while his legs were still inside he opened his eyes and this emotion which I have no word for, rushed over me; a mixture of pride, excitement, joy and many others. He was real and he was here and he’s mine! There is no other feeling, memory or experience in the world that compares to that moment for me.
As he was delivered he was laid on my stomach where I held him and watched him. Part of my birth plan was that his cord not be cut until it stopped pulsating so that he could receive all of the blood and oxygen from me that he needed. I don’t recall how long that took, but I think around 10 minutes or so, but once the time was right, Matt cut the cord and Connor was free to breastfeed! He ate immediately, like a champ! As we waited for my placenta to deliver, Dr. Clark became concerned (I was totally unaware of anything but my baby at that time) that I was losing too much blood, so he asked if they could give me Pitocin to strengthen contractions. I agreed, although I was disappointed to have to use it. It had been 30+ minutes since Connor’s delivery and every muscle in my body was weak and tired but I had to sit up and push. It eventually came out but again, with it came a lot of blood. I learned the next day that my placenta had only partially detached from the uterus and the blood that would have normally been going into the placenta for the baby was pouring into my uterus instead. As the nurse monitored me I rested with my baby in my arms for over an hour and a half Dr. Clark had to give me one stitch for an interior tear but as I see it, that’s not too bad. I also believe that if I’d been free to deliver on my hands and knees or vertically as I’d planned, the tear wouldn’t exist. Reality is though that I delivered on my back and suffered a minor laceration because of it.
The time came for them to take Connor to the nursery to bathe him and do their required tests (which we begged for them to do in the L&D room.) Since they couldn't agree to do that Matt went with Connor. While he was gone I was supposed to get cleaned up and meet them in my real room, however when we sat me up I fainted. I was only out a couple of seconds but it shook me up emotionally. During that time our parents arrived and watched as Connor was cleaned and measured (8lbs, 10.6 oz, 21 in). Then they came to see me. After an hour and a half they FINALLY brought Connor back to me in L&D, again something that they don’t normally do, but most moms are out of recovery by then.
Over the next 24 hours my body did not recover well. As I continued to bleed (a normal amount) not enough new blood was being created in my body. This is where I believe God intervened. There is no way we could have known or seen that this would occur, so he gave us symptoms of high blood pressure – signs we could see – so that we would be in the hospital where I could be helped. The following night I received a transfusion of 2 units of blood, which really discouraged me. I was so upset that my body was not functioning as it was designed, in spite of all that I’d done to prepare it for this delivery. However I was assured that there was no way for me to prevent this and that the blood would only make me feel better. So, Friday night I received a blood transfusion for the first time and slept peacefully with my husband and newborn baby at my side.
In all of this I have learned that we cannot know God’s timing or plans but we have to trust Him. He loves us and our perception of Him does not change who He is.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
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